It's okay to be angry and never let go.. It only gets harder the more that you know. When you get lonely if no one's around, you know that I'll catch you when you're falling down. We came together but you left alone and I know how it feels to walk out on your own. Maybe someday I will see you again and you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend.
Fuck yea! Cud on tour!
This is written by my dear friend, Ashley. It’s beautiful, honest and heartbreaking.
Bam, You Were Gone
I can never quite explain the way it felt for me inside
When out of no where in my life I saw a second line.
You try to grasp within the moment all the things you feel.
While a broken record in your mind repeats “This can’t be real”
Never in my life till then, did I believe the saying right…
…the possibility for one to fall in love at the first sight.
And though plans for that weekend were instantly shattered
I now had plans for life and nothing else really mattered.
Perhaps the given circumstances weren’t exactly idealistic
But my heart knew this was right, it felt completely optimistic.
“Things happen for a reason” isn’t that what they say?
Well whatever the reason I hoped it never go away.
Id share the exciting news in the days that would proceed
While trying to comprehend the bond I felt with ‘Poppy Seed’.
They said it wont be easy, but I was prepared for any strife
For everything else seemed trivial, I now had meaning in my life.
Appointments, Doctors, books, names… no more drinking coffee!
And somehow everyone around me, turned into a softie.
That year the holidays arrived with a different kind of glow
The kind of thanks that I was giving, no one will ever know.
Christmas time with warmth and presents- but not one could compare
To the gift that I’d received a few months earlier that year.
Difficulties were in the past, it was now my time to shine.
I didn’t think a single thing could shake me off of my Cloud 9.
The evening of a brand new year I thought would start out right
Never knew the kind of loss that would be following that night.
1st day of the New year, I knew something was so wrong
I cried my soul out in my bed, for this I was not strong.
Nothing yet confirmed, but my mind was filled with fear…
… that the heartbeat alongside mine, was no longer there.
2 days later Dr. said the words “The baby has stopped thriving”
The phrase repeating in my head, now how do I stop crying?
Time will heal the wounds, but the scars they will remain.
I think the months have numbed the facts but have not detached the pain.
And I know woman all around me, hear me all too well.
Who at first felt touched by Heaven but soon after just saw Hell.
I know I’ll get my chance to be “Mommy” when it’s time…
… but thoughts of one I’ll never meet will stay inside my mind.
I search and search for answers as to why You had to leave.
They say “Things happen for a reason”- Well, I no longer believe.
I’ve got buckets of words just to hush out the sound of my heart falling down into bits on the ground.. I don’t know how to love you when I’m not around. I sold all my clothes, to get rid of your smell.. I smashed all the clocks that had the right time to tell me how long it has been since we parted ways.. don’t know how to leave you when I want to stay.. so go on without me now - lose me in the crowd. I am so slow moving like the sound.. the words stuck in my mouth..